What do I even title this?

My thoughts on the political state of things below this.

I realized that I should probably say something about the election. Reading Devo’s words, though, I don’t know what else I can really say. I guess I’ll just talk through my thoughts.

I had a panic attack Monday evening as the realization that the election was happening the next day sunk in. All Tuesday, I spent going in and out of panic and dread. I stayed curled up inside, afraid to go out because I knew there were Tr/um/p supporters in my area. (I had mailed in an absentee ballot so that I wouldn’t have to worry about my anxiety the day of election — I’m glad I did.) As the night continued to get progressively more and more dire, I clung to the support of my friends as the actuality of a man full of so much hate and privilege was going to be our president-elect. Wednesday morning, I almost relapsed into bad behaviors but managed to distract myself before the impulses were too great. I spent the whole day hugging my Lugh plush, so that He may lend me strength.

There is no where I look where I don’t see the real fear of what will happen next. If I look inside, I wonder what will happen to a queer disabled person such as myself. When I look besides me, I fear for my Jewish fiance. When I look out at my American friends, I am concerned for their various safety for their various reasons. Even looking at my non-American friends, there is fear and concern. There are few people who are going to come out of this unscathed one way or another.

But also while I look around, I see such support and compassion. I see people of all walks of life offering to help others and create groups and create movements. People are lending out services free of charge to various communities. I see so much desire to¬†protect each other and to build alliances. It’s calming, soothing, to see so many people speak up about how they aren’t going to tolerate any bigotry from our “president-elect.”

It’s going to be hard, though. And I don’t know how to help. I’m too poor to donate to charities and causes. I’m too sick to attend rallies and riots. I’m not eloquent or inspiring in my writing.

But I’m going to try to do whatever else I can. I’ll support the people doing the work in whatever ways I can. I’ll blast social media with petitions and with resources and with charities. I’ll continue to vote so that our government is more capable of enacting positive change. I’ll continue to speak out about injustices whenever possible.

 

I’m in tears writing this, thinking about all the people who aren’t going to make it. Thinking of the people who have to conceal their identity so that they can remain safe, the people who can’t conceal their identity, and people who need medical care. And it’s heartbreaking and devastating and I wish I could have done more. I wish I could do more.

I don’t know what the point of me writing this is. I guess I just want people to know that they aren’t alone. I know I can’t survive this alone, so let’s not let ourselves be alone. We need to still gather together, hold each other close, and promise to support one another in anyway we can.

If you need to reach me, my email is allec . guire @ gmail . com . Please don’t hesitate to email me for any reason. I’m here for you too.

 

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