It’s Samhain today for me! I normally don’t update for holidays, but today I felt like making my present thoughts public. For starters, I want to plot out what I’m doing for the rest of the day. Religiously, I plan to:
- Take stock on how the year went
- Make my rosemary pizza
- Order food for my feast
- Give offerings to my ancestors
- Do divination for the upcoming year
- Rewatch Song of the Sea
- Play Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines while my fiance watches
If you have any questions about why I do any of these things, feel free to ask! My celebration is going to start at sunset, but I am going to take stock of how the year went in this blog while I’m feeling nostalgic. So get prepared for a lot of reflections below.
The past year so much has happened to me, but perhaps most importantly was my diagnosis of narcolepsy. Getting this diagnosis, I’ve spent the majority of the year (since February) learning to cope with this new illness. These last few weeks I think I finally getting the hang of being someone with narcolepsy. I have spent so much of the year learning about my limitations and my boundaries, as well as my strengths and skills.
I’ve learned a lot about myself too religiously. I feel like I’m reaching a point where things are going more regularly. I still have so much to learn and work on, but I don’t feel like a newbie anymore. I finally feel like I can contribute to others. Part of that is from starting The Guide to Gaelic Polytheism, which is a project of me writing out my research essentially. In a small way, I can finally give back to the wider community and I’m grateful for that.
I’ve learned a lot about my gender identity over this past year as well. It began last year when I went to an all-women’s festival and I realized, “Uh-oh. I don’t feel like a woman at all.” Looking back, I was experiencing social dysphoria. And that feeling lead me to recognizing that I am genderqueer. It’s been very liberating and freeing to come to this realization, and I’m finally confident enough in my gender identity to tell others more publicly. Little by little I’m coming out more and more to more and more people, and it’s a fantastic feeling when I’m accepted (which I so far have been!)
I grew a lot with my skills in divination too. I feel myself being more connected intuitively with both my decks and the world around me. It’s great. And then, I have rediscovered my love of creating characters and stories. I’m participating in NaNoWriMo and I’m so excited!
Meanwhile, I am trying to think of things I need to cut away from my life, but all I am seeing are things that I want to add. I want to add so many things to my life and I am finally feeling prepared to do it. I’m hoping again to return to school, if money permits. I am just exploding with happy feelings today.
So here’s to another good year!